I have been talking to myself about writing a new blog for months now. Somehow it was never the right time or the right inspiration. I was swept up in wishing I could go back to my pre-pandemic life, the one I felt so safe and comfortable with. Are you experiencing that feeling of inertia too?
As in all transitions, the space between what was, what is and what will be, presents us with an emotional rollercoaster. How often I have heard people talking about how they wished they could go back to the way things were…before the pandemic, before a divorce, or before an illness.
Whatever that past is, it can take on the nostalgic allure of happier and more stable times. This can make our present feel uncomfortable, uncertain and disorienting. But was that past really such a rosy time?
If our present is a time of transition, we can feel adrift. We haven’t let go of what was and we are not yet ready to know where we are going. This is a time for patience and introspection.
I discovered that I grieved my loss of freedom. I missed the time of not having to worry about my mask when I went out. Now I am ruminate over my comfort level and safety of going without my mask.
Things that I had once depended on were gone too. No longer could I count on being able to get the groceries I needed or wanted. Our already unpredictable weather just became more erratic and out of sync with the seasons. And…that bedrock of stability, our mail system, could no longer be counted on either.
From small things to big things, my sense of order and predictability were gone. I had always depended on them and missed them dearly. Re-entry, that long awaited change, was not going to be the change that would bring me back to the way things were. Are you missing this too?
With all those high hopes for re-entry being a return to what was, maybe you feel disappointed and floundering. When will I get my old life back? That seems to be the question we are all asking, but it is not the question we need to be asking. Our old life has passed and we are not now who we were then, in that old life.
Instead, think of asking yourself these questions:
- What do I need to let go of in order to move forward? Maybe expectations that can’t be met have you stuck. It’s okay to feel frustrated, stressed and impatient when feeling stuck. Instead of beating yourself up about your feelings, be curious. What are they trying to tell you? Maybe they are signaling that you need to be kinder and more understanding of where you are.
- What inner resources do I have in order to move forward? An inner resource could be your determination to reach a certain goal. Maybe it is your gift of being able to step back and get a different perspective to give you greater clarity on where you are and how you might need to go forward.
- What support systems do I have to help me in my moving forward? Mentors, teachers, trusted and non-judmental friends and family can be good listeners in truly hearing you. They can reflect back to you and help you gain greater insight.
While we are no longer in quarentine and have greater access to moving about our lives in a freer way, we are not back to the way it was. Uncertainty about the pandemic and the quesion of when or if it wil truly be over is still with us. Other uncertainties have also arisen in our world.
I have finally been able to put words to what I have been feeling. My move forward is sharing my thoughts with you and putting this blog on my website. I hope to get back to a consistent schedule of writing my blog on thoughts, tips and reflections on how to navigate transitions.
Transitions are change, challenge and possibilities. Living our lives is in navigating these transitions!